When divorce drives it’s nasty fangs into your life, reasonable agreements isn’t a topic that sits very easily on your lap. Your own emotions are generally boiling, and it’s more likely that revenge would be more on the forefront than reasonable agreements.

But you are growing into maturity with the help of your divorce, and you now have children to put into the first spot where you used to live, so let’s do think about reasonable visitation agreements.

The majority of parents love their children equally. And your children blossom under the spell of the love of each of you, so let’s consider some ideas about visitation rights after divorcing.

One of the contentious ideas in a divorce is Father’s Rights. An ideal fix would be to create two lists: the rights of the parents who has custody and the rights of the parent who doesn’t. You both do have rights. Use the internet to see what others have said about this topic. Consider: how much time each parent should have; It would be wise not to schedule too many activities but rather just spend quality time with your child when it’s your turn to visit; ought the grandparents be taken into consideration; how?; creating a child friendly home; summer vacations; how holidays will be handled? Topics like these deserve your attention and it’s wiser to resolve it before the time arrives than on the fly.

There is not only one way to establish visitation agreements. There is your way for you. There is the court’s intervention when necessary. There are different rules in different states. The best way is to arrive at a decision between the divorcing parents. Each parent’s attorney can arrive at a mutual agreement if the parents themselves cannot. The most important deciding factor here is the welfare of the children.

If a parent isn’t living up to the visitation agreement, the court can be a help in enforcement. Don’t allow the frustration over one parent’s non-compliance to infect the children. Go to the court for help before that happens.

Three Key Ingredients require consideration: the Schedule, how to make the Exchange, and Communication for issues that arise.

You can modify your Visitation Agreement at any time to be sure the child’s interests are considered and both parents should have this as a common goal. In fact, this issue of visitation agreements is contentious and on-going, so your flexibility will be tested here as well as through other areas about your divorce. It might be the only tool left to maintain control over an out-of-control divorce. Your visitation agreement can prevent years of stress and of good benefit for your children, and when it comes to your children, you know how I feel that the kids are the most important part.

In his book “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,” Len Stauffenger shares with you the simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce and from the raising of his daughters. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. His is a heartfelt, visionary story of the success at the end of his divorce journey. You can purchase Len’s book and it’s accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com